I would say that the anxiety about Big Chemo starts to creep in sometime on Sunday. It's pretty easy to push it away at that point. Mondays are usually okay because we're so busy...that's when our homeschool group meets. This morning, Tuesday morning, I woke up and I could definitely feel it. What do I feel? I experience a sense of urgency to finish my To Do list before I'm sick for the weekend. I ran through the list in my head, prioritizing, shuffling, deciding what I could let go without stressing too much.
I'm tired of fighting this, so maybe I should embrace it? It's not like the way I feel paralyzes me or makes me retreat into my bed. I get a heck of a lot of shit done on Tuesdays. That's good, right? It's starting to become a routine of sorts. We have a really great weekend, we keep busy on Mondays, and then Tuesdays we buckle down and clean things.
Honestly, I'm not looking forward to Wednesday. But it's going to be okay. For today, for right now, I'm feeling positive. I think it's time to accept the things I can't change, and I think I'm doing all I can to get through the chemo sickies and stay as healthy as possible. It will also help that I got Twilight in the mail from DVD swap yesterday. Awwww yeah, movie time tomorrow!
Keeping you in my thoughts. My Dad would be just frantic the week prior to chemo. It was almost like he was in a "nesting" state for lack of a better term.
ReplyDelete